Beneath The Planet Of The Apes (1970)

Credit: 20th Centuty Fox

As a friend recently joked, this movie could be called Beneath the Budget of the Planet of the Apes. 20th Century Fox actually did slash the budget in half and it shows, because while the main actors resume the ape make-up from the original, the background apes are noticeably lacking. They all appear in expressionless ape masks made on the cheap. I've also read that many sets were reused from other Fox movies.

Not only is there a noticeable lack of budget for this movie, it seems to follow the original a little too closely. Another astronaut crash-lands onto the planet in search of Taylor, and upon landing, he meets Taylor's mute female companion, Nova. Together they travel to ape city, where the new astronaut named Brent (James Franciscus) accepts his new surroundings a lot better than Taylor did. Brent doesn't really add much to the story, instead what he does is run back and forth between ape city and the desert a few times while gorillas are trailing behind. The story is lacking just like the budget for the first half of movie, while there is also a severe lack in Charlton Heston as well. It appears that he didn't want to do a sequel and only agreed if he would have a minimal role. He also donated his salary to charity which is a noble thing to do.

The movie really doesn't get interesting until we actually go "beneath" the planet and explore the Forbidden Zone, which is an area that's off-limits to apes. A creepy cult of humans is discovered to be living in the ruins of New York City, and like many sequels, this ups the ante as there are astronauts vs a gorilla army vs a new threat in these mutated foes. Just as the movie was finally becoming interesting and revealing more secrets of the apes' origin, it ends. I wanted more of it to be set inside the Forbidden Zone, but maybe that's why it's so appealing since they only give us a taste of what's actually lurking inside. The mutants' presence is actually felt before we see them, since they appear to the gorillas and Taylor in the form of illusions of fire and lightning. The first movie may have even accidentally teased these mutants because as Taylor and his crew are exploring the desert, they witness strange lightning in the sky.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes may not be as good as the original but it does attempt to top it's ending with an ironic twist. In the original film, Taylor pounds his fist in anger that "they" blew up the planet in a nuclear war yet this time it's actually he who blows it up for good.

Planet of the Apes (1968)

Credit: 20th Century Fox

While growing up, my favorite movies were the Indiana Jones series, Back to the Future, and The Goonies. However this movie impacted me in a different way because I learned about something called "letter box". The Encore channel was going to air a Planet of the Apes movie marathon, with a letter box presentation of the films. I wasn't aware what that meant but the black bars at the top and bottom of the screen made the Planet of the Apes appear to be more than just a movie, it was epic. Now I know that's the way all movies are filmed, but the black bars were added to allow the whole movie to fit within the frame of the television screen.

I have to admit that as I watched the Planet of the Apes and it's sequels during that marathon, I actually liked the original less than those that followed. Approaching it as an adult, I now have a better understanding of the story and the efforts from the actors and the production crew. This could have easily been a silly movie featuring actors in ape suits yet they take their performances seriously. Kim Hunter and Roddy McDowall co-star as a chimpanzee couple of scientists, Zira and Cornelius, who have studied mannerisms of the animals they are portraying and used them in their performance to act through the make-up using facial expressions. Charlton Heston gives a helluva performance as the hero ("Taylor") because he also must act using only facial expressions for the middle portion of the movie.

Heston's Taylor is an astronaut who has crash-landed on a strange planet that appears to be just an endless desert. Taylor and his crew finally encounter signs of life, a group of primitive humans, who are then hunted and captured by gorilla soldiers on horseback. I love how this whole sequence is filmed, as you hear a strange noise off in the distance first, then there is gunfire, before the unknown hunters are finally revealed. Heston's character takes a bullet to the throat, leaving him unable to speak, so he initially blends in with the others in captivity because they were never able to speak. The movie builds to the moment when Taylor finally speaks and it threatens the foundation of the ape society.

In addition to great acting, amazing make-up work, and it's script filled with wit as well as social commentary, there is an unseen force in this movie that deserves credit as well. The musical score by Jerry Goldsmith is bordering on frightening at times, yet it's also very minimal, as it ranges from unusual percussion to sounds that mimic animal noises. While the ending of the film is a shocker that has stuck with people decades later, the music is something that left an impression on me as I later noticed that the score from the TV program Lost mimicked the Apes score at times. I also grew up with a fondness for the unusual twists and far-out tales of the Twilight Zone program, so it was a nice surprise to learn that it shares a similarity with Planet of the Apes: Rod Serling. He was the creator of The Twilight Zone, a show that used science fiction to tell stories of social commentary, so it actually shouldn't be a surprise because that's exactly what this Planet of the Apes movie is about.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Credit: 20th Century Fox

I’m pretty certain most movie watchers are familiar with the plot of the original, where astronauts think they crash-landed on a distant planet but in reality they time-traveled to Earth’s future and apes have enslaved what’s left of the human race. It was even remade exactly 10 years ago to less success by Tim Burton and starred “Marky” Mark Wahlberg. However this movie is not a remake and I wouldn’t even call it a “prequel” to any Apes film we’ve seen before. The earlier films played on fears of a nuclear holocaust but Rise adds a modern spin since now we’re all searching for cures to diseases and what happens when we try to “play God.”

In past movies all of the apes were actually people in costumes and make-up but Rise done with computerized effects. I was very skeptical at first when I saw the trailers but it turned out to be among the best special effect work I’ve seen this year. The way they achieved it was through motion-capture, where actors played the parts of each ape and then it was digitized later on computers. It was very effective as the lead ape, Caesar, drew me into the story with his mannerisms and facial expressions. The actor who played Caesar deserves recognition for his hard work but I felt that James Franco (who played Dr. Will Rodman) as his caretaker didn’t hold up his end of the film. He was supposed to be distraught but ended up looking stoned throughout most of his scenes.

You don’t need to be familiar with the Planet of the Apes series to enjoy this film, but if you are, then the writers added several “easter eggs” for observant fans. Even the famous line from the original, “get your stinking paws off me”, is said in the movie. Don’t worry though, this doesn’t end with a goofy twist but it does have a satisfying conclusion that hints at a future sequel. At the time I felt it was the best movie of the summer season, but it turned out to be my favorite of the entire year. Rise of the Planet of the Apes isn’t just a cool-looking action movie or a fun way to waste two hours, it’s actually a story with heart and actually pays off moments that are set up early in the film.

Moon Zero Two (1969)

Movie-A-Day Challenge

Day 8

Hammer Films

Moon exploration was all the rage in 1969, given with the first men to land on the moon in July, it was only natural that low budget studios began to crank out such movies featuring what they believed the future held in this exciting advancement in our space programs. The makers Moon Zero Two, felt that the future (2021, to be exact) would be full of people colonizing the moon, evil billionaires would hold weird space parties full of cheesy music, weird outfits, weird hair and space drinks. As we know, this sadly isn't the case. But I'm sure plenty of parties are pretty similar.

Moon Zero Two is an odd sci-fi film. The tag line reads "The first moon 'western'" and.. well, I guess that's true. I wouldn't really know for sure if it's the first, although I will say that not a whole lot of it felt very western to me. The film follows the exploits of former astronaut-turned space salvager, Bill Kemp, who's hired by the previously mentioned evil billionaire, who unknowingly to Kemp, wants Bill to capture a nearby asteroid that can be used to launch a rocket to other planets, which he can then colonize.. for PROFIT. I sense a missed opportunity for a good profit meme.

There's also some stuff going on with a girl who crosses Bill's path who is on the hunt to find her brother who went missing when mining in a far off area of the moon, but this story isn't really that interesting, until she can no longer deny Kemp's dashing looks and his rugged yet charming personality, which leads to awkward flirtation that is never fully delivered on, but certainly hinted at (for a sequel?). Kemp's space cowboyness is undeniable, maybe some would say there would never have been a Han Solo or Malcom Reynolds had it not been for Bill Kemp. I'm not one of those people, but hell if I'd argue with you if you presented me a case for it. 

If I had to say some good things about the film, it's that for a low budget sci-fi movie from the 60s.. is the effects are pretty good. They won't blow your socks off, but comparing them to a lot of other movies coming out around that time, they did a good job with what they had to work with. When compared to the best of sci-fi, this is horrible dreck. But compared to other movies of it's ilk, it's actually not that bad. I wouldn't recommend ever sitting through it though unless you can catch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, which was a really funny episode.

We're the Millers (2013)

Movie-A-Day Challenge
Day 7

Warner Bros.

A drug dealer gets robbed, and in order to make right by his boss, he's sent to Mexico to pick up a stash of pot. He decides the best way to get in and out of the country is to hire a group of people to pretend to be his family and go down in an RV pretending to be on a family vacation. It's an R rated comedy that I ended up liking a lot more than I thought I would. Jason Sudeikis is great, and the rest of the cast is equally game. It's nothing ground breaking but it get's the job done.

Recommended

|

Red Dawn (2012)

Movie-A-Day Challenge
Day 6

FilmDistrict

I like the original Red Dawn, but I can admit that it's not really a good movie. It's just fun, cheesy, 80s escapist entertainment. It's filled with logical flaws but it's easy to overlook. It wasn't an untouchable movie but if it were going to be remade, it should have been better than this. If you've never seen the original, you might like it, but if you have, you know the story, it isn't any better here.. it's just updated. It's pretty forgettable.

Skip It

Ultimate Avengers 2 (2006)

Movie-A-Day Challenge
Day 5

Lionsgate

The Avengers try and help out the Black Panther in his defense of his homeland, Wakanda, during a mutant invasion. Much worse than the previous Ultimate Avengers. The flaws of the original one were masked enough to where I enjoyed it. But the second time around, the animation, voices, story.. all of it just felt really weak. I lost interest numerous times, and it ended up being a chore to get through. Which is pretty sad considering there's only 72 minutes to the damn thing.

Skip it

Haywire (2011)

Movie-A-Day Challenge
Day 4

Relativity Media

Haywire was met with critical praise when it came out, but the reaction to it by the casual movie goers was the opposite and I understand why. When promotion came out for the movie, it seemed like a straight up action movie with lots of gun shooting but it's more of a thriller with some real hard hitting fight scenes. I was expecting the former, but was really glad that wasn't what the movie ended up being. The story isn't anything you haven't seen before, but like most of Steven Soderbergh's films, he rises above whatever basic story is given to him. Gina Carano still needs work as an all around actress but I think she has a lot of potential as an action star.

Recommended

The Bling Ring (2013)

Movie-A-Day Challenge
Day 3

A24

Based on the real life story of rich kids breaking into the houses of rich celebs, The Bling Ring is an okay movie that never bothers to dive too deep into any of the real life crime and drama. Emma Watson is great in her role and it's a great looking picture, but with all of the main characters so damn hard to get behind, the story of their crimes needed to be more in depth in order to pull you in but instead everything just seemed glossed over and rushed. Came out around the time Spring Breakers did, and I felt both movies were similar in story and flaws. One of those tough movies to judge because nothing in it is bad, it just feels like a a wasted opportunity.

Mild Recommendation  

Ultimate Avengers (2006)

Movie-A-Day Challenge
Day 2

Lionsgate

I'm beginning to realize one common theme for any super hero animated feature I'm looking forward to: I always feel like I'm going to like it much more than I actually did. As Leonard Maltin would say "The film is long on razzle dazzle" but there's really not a whole lot of substance to it. Fine for what it is, and at a run time of 72 minutes, it's hard to really complain too much about anything in it. It's a short ride that's fun, but really isn't anything that will convince you that most of these animated features are worth your time.

Mild Recommendation for the die-hard comic/animation fans, Pass for everyone else.

The Wolverine (2013)

Movie-A-Day Challenge
Day 1

20th Century Fox

I usually complain at great detail about my disdain for most of 2009's X-Men Origins: Wolverine. From it's laughable CG, to the plot holes, to.. whatever the fuck it is they did to Deadpool.. it's safe to say I'm not a fan of that one. But I did enjoy The Wolverine a lot more. I've never read the Japanese Saga that the movie is based on, but I did enjoy the setting change and I thought the action was pretty good, especially the train fight sequence. There's been better comic movies, but this is a good step in the right direction for the Wolverine series, I'm looking forward to the next one.

Recommended

X-Men: First Class (2011)

20th Century Fox

After the uneven X-Men: The Last Stand, Fox had to decide where to go with the X-Men series. They decided to go the route with X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which absolutely was enjoyable but pretty stupid and filled with plot holes. So, they went the way of a "reboot" and that brought us X-Men: First Class, which I will say is my tied with X2 as my favorite X-Men flick. If you haven't seen this one, this one is a must watch.

Michael Fassbender steals the show, I loved Ian McKellen as Magneto, but I like Fassbender that much more. He's just so damn good, every one of his scenes where he lets Magneto's dark side show, are easily the films best moments. Most of the cast is good as well, although none shine quite as bright as Fassbender. The other thing that really helps the movie is how much it is toned down compared to the over abundance of mindless action that took place in Last Stand, it helps make the action scenes more memorable when there isn't a huge fight every fifteen minutes. Instead that time is spent on developing the characters and making you more interested in each one from Xavier and Magneto all the way down to the smaller ones like Banshee and Havok. Each character gets something to do, and it's refreshing to see that in an X-Men flick.

You don't have to be a big fan of this genre in order to like First Class, the plot has a Connery 007 kinda feel but with super heroes, and throw in a kick ass Magneto, and well.. that's a pretty good combination. Like I said before, must watch, even for non fans.

Highly Recommended

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

20th Century Fox

I don't know why the third movie in most trilogies is always shitty. Sure there has been a few moments where the final installment has been the best, but it's usually the worst. Especially when it comes to comic book movies. Spider-Man 3, Blade: Trinity and now X-Men: The Last Stand. Superman 3 was saved from that list because they thought it'd be a good idea to make a 4th one.. and that one sucked even more, so 3 was only the second worst in the series! That's one of the few redeeming things you can say about that one. Now let's see if we can say anything redeeming about The Last Stand?

That wasn't meant to be so hard.. let's see.. it has.. explosions! Lots of explosions! And Colossus fighting bad guys! And.. Kitty Pryde! Yeah, there we go: it has Kitty Pryde. It's the cool thing to say that this is an awful movie, and it really isn't. It's never boring and has some pretty entertaining moments, but some of the decisions are so stupid that it makes any fan of the X-Men easily turn against the film. Case in point, Cyclops. After wasting him in two movies, he's got one scene here, in which he dies. The fearless leader of the X-Men, going out in a scene that doesn't even top five minutes, early on in the movie. I know it's probably for the best since he was so wasted the whole series, but it still pissed me off.

The plot has some silly things going on in it, mostly shit that Bret Ratner always tries to do in his movies, and it's mostly harmless but always stupid. Everything is talked about with great importance and drama, but it always comes off very "meh". Honestly, it took me three times to watch this movie over the past 8 years and I always lost interest at some point, this time I didn't but I completely see why I had in the past. With so many important things going on, things shouldn't be so damn uninteresting at times.

They did right a few wrongs with this movie, namely Storm gets used like she should have been, and the inclusion of the danger room and Kitty Pryde were fun, but like I said, when you sandwich those moments in between a bunch of crap.. well, you aren't left with anything that special. That said, if you can look past the misuse and lack of staying true to the source material, this isn't really all bad. X-Men: The Last Stand teeters dangerously close between crossing over into both good and bad, it never really strives to be anything more.

Very mild recommendation for fans of the first two.

X2: X-Men United (2003)

20th Century Fox

X2: X-Men United is still one of my favorite superhero moves. There's just so much to like about it, it's a real shame that all of the momentum this movie built up, was quickly destroyed by the very uneven X-Men: The Last Stand. Regardless, this is about X2, and it should be required viewing for anyone diving into superhero movies for the first time.

Like all good sequels, X2 takes all of the parts that work about the first X-Men, and amps them up. The best parts of the cast of the first movie (Wolverine, Magneto, Professor X and Jean Grey) still hold true in this one. Sadly, the weaker parts are still the same: Storm is pretty meaningless still, although not as meaningless as she was in the first movie. Cyclops is once against misused, this time having his screen time cut in half as he gets brainwashed into becoming a villain and spends most of the movie being a brainless bodyguard. If anything X2 does make up for this by introducing Nightcrawler (the opening scene at the white house was easily my favorite scene in the whole movie), and giving Iceman a little bit more to do. Iceman would see a heavy increase in X3, one of the few things that movie did that I enjoyed, but more on that later. Brian Cox plays William Stryker, the man behind the facility that created Wolverine, and his scenes with Jackman are easily some of the best moments of the film.

Despite coming in before the true comic book film golden age began, in my opinion X2 holds up very well compared to the newest of movies. It's full of action, good effects and some great, memorable moments. If you see just one movie from the original trilogy, this is the one to see.

Highly Recommended

X-Men (2000)

20th Century Fox

Nowadays, films based on super heroes get churned out every year. Most are very good and only a few are awful (here's looking at you Ghost Rider). Back in 2000, this wasn't the case. For every good one, there were five that were a complete misfire. Then came Bryan Singers take on X-Men and things started to change.

It wasn't without it's issues, but the movie still holds up as a pretty good comic book adaptation. The biggest problems were the misuse of a few characters (which would tend to be the problem in all of the X-Men movies, outside of First Class). Cyclops, the leader of the team in the comics, is a joke, he gets to do a little bit in this movie, but you never really feel like he's as strong as he was in the books. His screen time would be lessened in each subsequent film until he was mercifully killed off in The Last Stand, but more on that later. Halle Berry was pretty hit or miss as Storm, but I feel she got better as the series went on. The rest of the X-Men were all pretty good, with Wolverine, Professor X and Jean Grey being the stand outs. It's pretty much their series, especially Wolverine, but as Andy put it to me "Hugh Jackman was so good as Wolverine they had no other choice." It's hard to disagree with that.

Aside from Mystique and Magneto, the villains are all pretty worthless. Toad and Sabretooth are pretty worthless, constantly messing up everything they attempt to do. They're never shown on the same level as anyone they're fighting against. Which is odd, consider how bad ass Sabretooth was in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The helplessness of these two villains is made up for by how great Ian McKellen is as Magneto, he would go on to be the strong point of every film he was involved in, in both this series, but in just about everything else he's ever been in.

Despite the fact that comic book films have come a long way since 2000, X-Men still holds up pretty well. The story is basic and pretty intriguing early on, but it does lose a bit of it's momentum and tumbles towards a dull finish. It's not entirely perfect film but it's definitely a good start for the series.

Recommended

The Great Movie-A-Day Challenge!

A lot of people do movie-a-day challenges, mostly a predetermined list filled with their favorite actors, favorite films and so on. These usually last about 30 days, I would like to follow one of these lists at some point, but for me.. I dream of a bigger challenge: 365 Days. A movie a day until I get married. I wanted to make it a list full of movies I've never seen, which is what I'll be trying to stick to, but sometimes you just want to relive films you love. So.. fuck it, no rules! Well.. except for the whole movie a day thing.

It's quite a task, I tried one awhile back and fell off around 26 days. It gets hard after awhile to try and fit a movie in every day but with great determination, different working hours and a huge backlog, I feel this can be done. .Or I'll fail. Failure is an option, and the most likely possibility. Either way, I look forward to the challenge, I hope to clear off a lot of movies I haven't seen. If I make it to 365, there'll be a party, masquerading as a wedding reception.

I'll post each day what I've watched with a short paragraph review, and we'll see how long I can keep it going! Now that it's out on the interwebs, I can't really not fulfill it, it's easy to let myself down but all my readers? The.. one or two of you. Well, that's just something I can't do.

The challenge begins tonight with: The Wolverine! (2013)

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010)

Warner Bros.

Maybe it'd be best for Zack Snyder to stick to animated movies, I found this movie to easily be the best thing he's made. I've always thought his movies were slick with really fun, yet slightly overdone action scenes but they always felt like they were missing something. After the constant disappointments, I was so pleased to see that Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, not only exceeded my expectations, but turned out to be one of my favorite animated kids movies.

Based on the series of children's books named Legends of Ga'Hoole, the story tells the journey of a young owl named Soren who grows up hearing the mythical tales of a group of warrior owls named the Guardians who fight against the evil owls known as the Pure. His brother Kludd, who had grown tired of his brother's love of the tales, quickly becomes jealous of Soren as his natural abilities are much stronger than his own. Not to spoil too much, they get into some trouble, and are eventually rescued by two owls who end up being members of the Pure. Soren escapes with the help of an owl who's working as a double agent in order to save his family, and he embarks on a journey to find the Guardians, and attempt to go back to save his brother and defeat the evil Metal Beak and the entire Pure group.

The film has the darker tone like most of Snyder's adult efforts, but it's not enough to say the movie isn't intended for little ones. Not everything works out like most kids movies, and that's something to appreciate. The story is engaging, and should even draw in the adults. Easily, the films best qualities are the superb animated, this was easily one of the best looking animated films I've seen in some time. The fight scenes between the owls, were standard Snyder, slow motion sequences mixed with some great visuals. While they sometimes feel a little forced in his other movies, in this one they didn't. They really felt like something that other animated movies should aspire to live up to.

Guardians was met with mixed reviews and didn't make a ton of money at the box office, which is a real shame considering much worse animated movies (like the Smurfs!) made far more money and were pieces of shit compared to this one. So while we get to have multiple Smurf and Alvin and the Chipmunk movies, we get to have only one Guardian movie which was does potentially set up for a sequel that will sadly never come.

Highly recommended.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

Columbia Pictures

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 could be an "amazing" movie were it not a superhero movie. That seems like a rather silly statement but it's true. This movie succeeds when it focuses on the relationships between its main characters but it falls apart when Spider-Man is fighting his foes and twisting around in mid-air, all for the benefit of those who paid for the 3D glasses. There are two big battle sequences (well, two and a half) and the story grinds to a halt when these occur. Maybe I needed to chip in a few more dollars for the 3D, that way I could get the most out of it.

I would rather talk more about what the movie does right, and it has a lot in it's favor. This is the truest presentation of Spider-Man that I have seen on screen. He spins webs any size and catches thieves just like flies, all while having the "friendly neighborhood" nature from the comics. One perfect example is when he assists the fire department while wearing a firefighter's hat, then swings the hose around like wild west gunslinger. Andrew Garfield appeared to be having so much fun playing Spider-Man, which helps to sell this side of the character very well. He also brings out the brooding nature of Spider-Man as well, as he's conflicted over his relationship with Gwen Stacy. In the previous film, her father (played by Denis Leary) died during the climatic battle with The Lizard and he made Peter vow to keep her out of danger. Now Peter is suffering a slight form of post-traumatic stress as he sees Captain Stacy wherever he goes. It's also a role reversal for Denis Leary following his previous role on the tv series, Rescue Me. I like how Peter seemingly has the weight of the world on his shoulders, while still retaining the humorous nature of Spider-Man, and Garfield is perfect for the job. I've bought into his performance in this movie more than I did in the first film.

I was a harsh critic of rebooting the series so soon following the Sam Raimi movies, especially going back to his origin story. However, I realized that was a smart move by the movies' producers. Every Spider-Man villain is a mad scientist gone bad or an experiment gone wacky, so it makes perfect sense to tie everything to Oscorp. Peter's father worked for the company, Curt Connors/The Lizard was a top scientist, obviously Norman Osbourn is a key figure, and now new villains Harry Osbourn and Max Dillon are linked to the company as well. Oscorp had a presence in the previous series but it wasn't as pronounced as it is now. The evil underbelly of Oscorp follows in the footsteps of other movie conglomerates such as OCP (in the RoboCop films) and Weyland-Yutani (of the Alien series.) This time around, Max Dillon is a nerdy electric engineer and Jamie Foxx brings the character to life. He reminds me a lot of the transformation of Edward Nygma in Batman Forever as his obsession with the movie's hero is what drives him. It looks like Jamie Foxx had a lot of being a stereotypical geek and I'd love to see a gag reel of his outtakes.

The other villain of the film is Harry Osbourn, played with gusto by Dane DeHaan, who is easily my favorite of the film. He has a lot of similarities with Peter Parker and it's what makes him such a great villain. Every hero in these superhero movies has a villain who is his equal; they're two sides of the same coin. For example in Captain America, both Steve Rogers and Johann Schmidt were given the same super soldier serum, yet they took different paths. Harry and Peter were both separated from their parents at a young age, who were both scientists working on the same project. Its a great move to tie them together this way so we can learn more about Peter's parents, which was barely teased in the first movie. It seems that great care was taken to craft this elaborate backstory for Richard Parker, father of Peter, and this sequel will not be the end of it. Playing up the scientific side for this new series will hopefully lead to the 6-armed Spider-Man; though its probably wishful thinking on my part. Although we know it's not the end of Oscorp, since both movies have teased the robot tentacles of Doctor Octopus.

Though Harry Osbourn was an entertaining part of this film, I didn't like the visual aspect of his Green Goblin. I wish one of these Spider-Man films would do him justice. In the original Raimi movie, Norman Osbourn the man was awesome; Norman Osbourn the Goblin was awful. He looked more like a robot, so it's an amazing feat on the part of Willem DaFoe that he was able to act while wearing a mask with a fixed facial expression. With this new movie, I understand the reason behind the Goblin we see but it made me wish for that damn robotic Goblin. With heroes and villains, their name usually comes from their transformation- Peter Parker is bitten by a spider, so he's now Spider-Man; Curt Connors was working with reptiles to regenerate limbs, thus becoming The Lizard; Captain America was a patriotic hero from World War II; Tony Stark wears an iron suit; and Magneto can attract and move metal objects, similar to a magnet. That's why it makes sense that they took the "Goblin" name literally. This version in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is troll-like after the effects of a hereditary disease afflicted by the Osbourns. Even though I understand the reason behind it, it doesn't mean I have to love it. I just wish that someone would give us the classic comic book version of the Green Goblin! If this were a Marvel Studios-produced movie, they would definitely stay true to the iconic design. A guy in a green mask and purple outfit isn't any more or less ridiculous than a guy swinging around town in blue and red spandex. The problem is the same for the Electro charactere. The electric blue look is odd at first glance, which is because they also took the name literally and transformed the character to resemble an actual eel. Or from my viewpoint, he looked like the funky guy on a TOOL album cover. I would have preferred him to stay in the form he takes towards the movie's end, which is that of a massive electric current that flows throughout the city's power grid. Though staying in the form of electricity leaves one less guy for Spider-Man to battle.

Speaking of Marvel Studios films, it feels as if Sony/Columbia Pictures are trying to recreate the Marvel Universe films in their own Amazing Spider-Man universe. However it cannot be done; Spider-Man is just one man. Marvel has the benefit of stretching its story across the films of four different characters, while Sony/Columbia Pictures are trying to do that same level of story-telling in only two films. I appreciate the effort, it just makes things so cluttered. Raimi's progression of the Harry Osbourn character was told over the course of 3 movies, while in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Harry is introduced and transformed in less than two hours. It also causes the pivotal moment of Gwen Stacy's death to be rushed as well. Gwen's death occurs in this film, and while I try to avoid writing about spoilers, I feel this is something most everyone knows is a turning point for Spider-Man/Peter Parker. He spends much of this movie feeling guilty over the death of Captain Stacy, yet he's already over her death by the film's conclusion. Gwen's death should haunt him longer and I felt this movie needed to have a down ending, similar to The Empire Strikes Back. It makes me feel that Sony really does meddle too much with these movies, which is what was the problem with 2007's Spider-Man 3 and also the reason why we never saw a 4th film in that series.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Credit: Marvel Studios

2011’s Captain America felt like a hybrid of the Indiana Jones films, the gadgets and espionage of the James Bond series, mixed with the world of superheroes. So how does one top that for a sequel? They didn’t! Instead, Marvel went in another direction by disguising its latest superhero movie as a 1970’s political thriller with an all too real Post-9/11 conspiracy.

Chris Evans returns as Captain America and he’s still adjusting to the 21^st century, though he has a handy notepad full of music and movies he is encouraged to use so he can get caught up with the world of pop culture. He also has a new friend (and ally) named Sam, who later takes on the superhero nickname of “Falcon.” Although it feels rather contrived how he comes to be the Falcon; did he lose a bet or was a pair of metal wings the only remaining weapon in a SHIELD bunker? Either way, he proves to be a valuable asset to Cap. Scarlett Johansson also returns as Black Widow, along with Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury in his 6^th appearance in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. (Maybe I’m wrong but my count is Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, and now The Winter Soldier.) Also making appearances are Sebastian Stan as “The Winter Soldier”, Cobie Smulders as Maria Hill, there’s of course a Stan Lee cameo, and Robert Redford as Alexander Pierce, whose appearance adds credence to the political thriller tone. I really loved picking out all of the cameos from previous movies as well as new characters that are slowly being introduced. Marvel really does have this whole “Universe” concept plotted out and it’s amazing that they finally have the freedom to do it themselves after so many years of other movie studios owning the rights to a varied level of success. I hate spoilers so you’ll have to discover them for yourself like I did.

As much as I enjoyed this movie, it bugs me how Captain America isn’t shown adjusting to his new environment. It was glossed over in The Avengers, which was likely a good move so they could keep the pacing moving fast and furious, but in his own feature film we barely scratch the surface. Captain does visit with an elderly Peggy Carter, who seems to be suffering from Alzheimer’s, and he also visits a museum dedicated to his heroic adventures during WWII. However I wanted to see more of the Captain’s flashbacks to his past. If Tony Stark was given “post traumatic stress” in Iron Man 3, we should feel more of Cap’s loneliness or isolation. Despite the lack of character depth for Cap, they did make up for it by adding a new layer to the characters of Black Widow and Nick Fury with a peek at their lives prior to SHIELD. Perhaps Captain America doesn’t need further character development because he is the one constant throughout this movie; while there are double crosses throughout the film, he remains the moral center and never compromises his beliefs. That’s actually what drew me to the character in the first place, that he is a true good guy who’s a great contrast to so many “anti hero” characters throughout the action movie genre nor does he need to have the best one-liners.

I found this to be a wholly satisfying movie, especially after the recent Iron Man and Thor sequels seemed to take an even lighter direction. While there are many comedic moments, The Winter Soldier is a dark movie; perhaps the darkest among the Marvel Cinematic Universe films. Maybe Marvel and Disney intended for this to happen as a way to set all of their movies apart and not fall into the trap of repeating the same pattern. They’ve already completed the Guardians of the Galaxy and are working on an Ant Man feature film, so I am very intrigued by the possibilities of other characters being added into their Universe. The future is also wide open for further adventures of Captain America.

Metallica: Through The Never (2013)

Credit: Picturehouse

Heavy metal has been looked down upon for 40 years and I’m sure it will still be looked down on 40 years from now. The genre has been called “satanic”, band apparel and albums were banned from establishments and events, its also taken the blame for kids committing suicide after spinning records, and even gun violence. The misunderstanding comes from the fact that its more than just notes played by an instrument and lyrics sung by a vocalist. Many of the great metal bands write songs that transcend words and create a visual for the listener to imagine in their mind as the song plays. Great metal musicians such as Iron Maiden have written songs based on popular literature which add to that visual and tell a story for the listener. Ronnie James Dio’s songs with bands like Rainbow and Black Sabbath used mystical lyrics that could transport the listener to another place and time. Other bands, such as Alice Cooper and KISS, actually went beyond creating an image in the mind of the listener and became a larger than life persona on stage. With Through The Never, Metallica has now stepped into that echelon of heavy metal performers and possibly surpassed them as well.

Just like the genre itself, this movie will be misunderstood too. Heck, I even didn’t know how to make sense of it at first. I had heard that there’s a story based around a roadie but that its also a band performance involving special effects. I was trying to comprehend the loose plot too much because I was viewing it as another movie so I could write a review afterward. It’s really not a movie at all- it IS a concert but each song has visuals to enhance the performance, from tombstones that rise up through the stage to coffins that lower down from above. Metallica has even taken elements from other bands- Alice Cooper’s trademark is being hung onstage, KISS once had a massive Statue of Liberty prop on stage with them, and Iron Maiden has their own mascot named Eddie who marches on stage- and concocted an apocalyptic blend from those assembled parts. Alice Cooper even attempted an electric chair gag that accompanied the stage show for his late 70’s album about a stay in a mental institution, but it never looked this good! So don’t analyze it, just feel it and hang on for the ride. The 3D effects enhance the experience because you’ll swear you can feel the sweat flying and heat from the fireworks. I’m just glad I never had to run for my life when I was delivering Slash’s coffee!

The Fly (1986)

Credit: 20th Century Fox

Each time I watch this I seem to discover a new layer, just like Jeff Goldblum's character of Seth Brundle has several stages of his transformation throughout the movie. During my first experience with The Fly, I felt like it was a bizarre and creepy dark comedy that was in a similar style to the early work of Tim Burton. Jeff Goldblum's weird mannerisms combined with a mullet and a descent into madness led me to believe this movie was just something to laugh at. Not to mention its a great display of practical movie effects, which is what I love about movies of the 1980's.
 

I gained a greater appreciation for this movie after I saw the special features on the creation of the movie, so I returned for a second watch. That time The Fly struck me as a tragic love story and I was closer to what this movie is really about. When the movie starts, the characters played by Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are already in the middle of a conversation, and I like how the movie thrusts you into their story. The two meet at a party, Seth is eager to show off his teleportation experiment, and it leads to chemistry between them. I don't think the chemistry would become quite what they expected as Seth didn't consider a variable in his experiment. Typically when a relationship reaches the end, people part ways after an argument, they pack their bags, and never see the other person again. It's not because they've transformed into a giant insect, they just turned out to be an asshole. Seth's feelings for Ronnie are relatable; not because men have turned into a fly for the women we love, rather when we do dumb things in a moment of weakness. I've done what I thought had the best intentions, only it backfired and I looked like a creep. I also love to make references to this movie in conversations, not just because I enjoy the movie but I'm sure it creeps people out when its taken out of context. So perhaps I'm just a creep either way.

This current rewatch of The Fly showed me that it's also about losing one's identity. Seth Brundle has become lost in his work and teleports himself before his machine is even ready. He had only just begun to teach his computer about "the flesh", so after teleporting, is he still the same man who went through the teleporter? Or is he the computer's version of a man? We already know he's not himself so the clues that he is partially a fly are fun to watch unfold, if not very creepy. I had been told the changes in Seth are a metaphor for AIDS, and I even felt the loss of identity could be social commentary on joining the trends of the 80's and conforming. Yet when I tried to elaborate more, I felt I had lost my own identity and just copied the thoughts of another person's views on the deeper meaning of The Fly. That's just the beauty of this movie, that there is much to discover through each viewing and it's open to your own interpretation.

They Live (1988)

Credit: Universal Studios

The 1980's were a time of excess. If you were a rock star, you had to have the biggest hair and the baddest leather jacket. If you were a child, you had to own every He-Man toy and accessory under the sun. If you were a business man, then your goal was to own the fastest sports car and have a wardrobe just like Don Johnson. If you were a woman, then you also wanted big hair but you wore tight leggings rather than leather jackets. It was a culture driven by spending, with the politics being that if the wealthy were wealthier, it would trickle down to the lower class. The beginning of the 21st century was much the same way, but wardrobes were updated and the plastic action figures were replaced with Apple products and Playstations. However, what if all of those trends were fabricated by other-worldly ghouls that wanted to contain us like cattle? 

John Carpenter's They Live is very much in the same vein as RoboCop, which was released to theaters just a year earlier. It focuses on the loss of identity of its hero who lives in a commercialized world driven by big business. The violence and humor is as much of a distraction for us as a viewer, as "consuming" and "obeying" distracts the citizens from realizing they are only serving an agenda. Its not really known what agenda that is by the ghouls because "Rowdy" Roddy Piper blows into town like a wild western drifter and tries to save the day. His weapon is a shotgun and cool sunglasses that reveal these ugly ghouls and their subliminal messages. Perhaps they only came to Earth because they like our fashions, yet they're hideous, so they decided to disguise themselves to blend in. The alien make-up may seem cheesy by today's standards, but it does have its own charm, which is something modern sci fi epics could learn from; sometimes simpler is better.

I enjoy John Carpenter movies because they're really basic storylines, with simple sets and simpler music scores, but somehow he gets the most out of using very little. I've also noticed that the best John Carpenter movies seem to feature a common, "every man" character who has to fight against very large odds. "Rowdy" Roddy's one-liners still crack me up, yet as I've grown older the pacing of the movie still seems a bit slow to start. However once he discovers the sunglasses, its pretty much a wild ride beyond that point. Another thing about getting older is that I'm realizing movies like this are more than just science fiction. The population really does seem as divided like it is within the movie. The rich, upper class flourishes because the politicians are funded by big businesses; the middle class is shrinking; the lower class is growing. Its certainly not as radical as it is portrayed in They Live, where the upper class have condos and the lower class have shanty towns and share canned goods. Yet our society transformed over the past two decades to become more like the setting in They Live, so who knows what the future holds for the next twenty years.

Dirty Harry (1971)

Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures

I feel that we are doing Clint Eastwood a disservice by putting a film such as Dirty Harry into the bargain bin. This is a landmark action movie, both for the genre and for the career of Clint Eastwood. He already established himself in the Western genre, on the television series Rawhide as well in the films of Sergio Leone, yet Dirty Harry was unlike anything he had portrayed before. Inspector Harry Callahan is blunt, probably a bit racist and immoral (he is even mistaken for a "peeping tom" in one scene), but he has a true sense of justice, and does any "dirty" job that comes along; which is how he earns his name. Eastwood's role as Callahan set the stage for many "loose cannon" cops that bend or break the rules to get the job done, from television to feature films as well. Heck, he even returned to this role four more times.

Not only is "Dirty" Harry an iconic character, this movie features an iconic movie line as well. I was familiar with this line long before I ever watched the movie, which might be the case for many others, so I was surprised within the first fifteen minutes of the movie! While Harry is out to lunch, he suspects a bank robbery is in progress, so he stops the three robbers as they attempt to speed away with his .44 Magnum, "the most powerful hand gun in the world." As one of the men is lying on the ground, Harry asks, "You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?" while pondering whether he shot 6 times or only 5. That isn't even the best part of the whole sequence, it's actually that Harry took a big bite of his sandwich, then finishes chewing while he fires his weapon at a speeding car. Truly bad ass! Harry also has a few awesome lines before and after that foiled robbery attempt, but none entertained me more than his nonchalant manner.

Clint Eastwood isn't the only one who has an outstanding performance, I felt the Scorpio killer played by Andrew Robinson was excellently creepy. As calm under pressure as Harry is, this killer is equally driven to killing. He goes as far as paying someone to beat him up to frame Harry. Actually, this isn't any old beating, it's a complete thrashing. Now that's being dedicated to villainy. You could almost admire his dedication to his craft, much like Goldfinger's "Operation Grand Slam" master plan in Goldfinger; although that's a review for another day. I also like how we don't know the motives for the Scorpio Killer, he's just a bad dude. Too many movies these days try to humanize the villain, which is fine if it suits the story, but this wouldn't be the place for it. We see Harry's humanity on display as he will do anything to stop more women from dying, even going above the law to do it.

I love how the ending not only returns to that famous line uttered humorously from earlier in the movie, it changes the dynamic when Harry confronts the killer. The ending also seems to reference a conversation from earlier in the film, when the wife of Harry's partner asks about his motivation for being a police officer. What Harry does seems to answer that question and closes the door on any sequels. However, I'm glad that Clint Eastwood returned to the role four times- Magnum Force, The Enforcer, Sudden Impact, and The Dead Pool; which can also be found in your local bargain bin. Maybe that's actually a good thing, as every Clint Eastwood movie I own has been a bargain bin purchase, making it easily accessible for everyone to enjoy the "Man from Malpaso."

007 Racing (PSX)

I remember Christmas 2000 well, waking up, immediately strolling out to the living room and seeing two CD shaped presents under the tree, knowing that I hadn't asked for any music that year, I knew that they were two PlayStation games. But which ones would it be? My mind was racing through all the options and when it came time to open them, I was ecstatic. Game #1 was Madden NFL 2001. Sweet! I had been playing NFL Game Day 98 for awhile now, it was time for a newer, better football experience. Game #2? 007 Racing! I was so excited, I'm a huge James Bond fan, so anything involving 007 was going to blow my 16 year old mind.

And boy did it! I was driving around in all of his classic cars, the BMW Z3, the Aston Martin DB5, the Lotus Espirit! I was shooting missiles at poorly designed cars and impossible to see specs that doubled as bad guys! I raced to my friend's house later that day and told him how awesome it all was, and how he had to check it out. He too was very impressed. Life was grand! If only I knew then, what I know now. This game sucks. Age can do that to you, numerous things I loved as a child, have turned out to be complete crap when looking at it as a man nearing his 30's.

So where did it all go wrong? It's hard to pin point, you'd probably have an easier time picking out what the game gets right. And.. well, it.. uh.. it has Jaws. And it's short. Really short. If you're any good (or you emulate with save states) you can breeze through the game in a matter of hours. And if you save state it, you might just save your sanity, as the game, like most of it's shitty ilk, is only challenging because nothing really works like it's supposed to. The cars all handle like their on grease covered roads, randomly swerving off the road with the slight turn of the wheel. There's no real difference between each car either, they all are stocked with the same Q technology. The Q tech all works well for the most part, minus a few that are mostly ruined by the horrible driving controls.

There's very little in the way of story. They attempt to have one, but it's just a few cut scenes with a creepy looking Pierce Brosnan CGI clone, and most of the story is told through narration by either M (someone doing a decent enough Judy Dench impression) and R (actually voiced by John Cleese!) You just go from mission to mission, with a basic explanation for why, and with little interest. Not to mention, there's no real “racing” in the game. There's two missions where you race against the clock and have to drive around a poorly designed New York City (without breaking!) with a bomb strapped to your car, gathering clocks that add to the timer. But ultimately these are the most frustrating parts of the whole game. The controls do nothing to help you out, you're constantly sliding all over the place and constantly stopping, which of course causes you to blow up. If any time this game causes you to lose your cool and break things nearby, it's these times. They're terrible.

I don't know what it is about him, but CGI Brosnan is kinda creepy. 

Is 007 racing worth playing? The answer is a resounding, NO! Not even a hardcore Bond fan will find anything enjoyable out of this game. Even if you can look past the awful controls, and boring game play.. there's just nothing in it that makes it worth any of your free time, even if it is relatively short. Skip it.

Bullet to the Head (2012)

Credit: Warner Bros

The revenge genre in action flicks is near the top of my list of favorites. I was really hoping I could add Bullet to the Head as another one in a long list of enjoyable revenge tales. Unfortunately, it's not that good. The premise is good enough: Stallone plays a hitman who is out to avenge the setup of him and his partner, which lead to his partner's demise. Stallone kills off everyone involved, one by one, uncovering each player involved, until he finally gets to the head man in charge. It's a story we've seen numerous times, and it's been done better.

Bullet isn't a bad movie, it's just one that is complacent in being average. The action scenes are good, and the pacing is right, the film never leans to the boring side. It's just hard to get emotionally invested because the movie never attempts to make you care about anything that's happening. The villains are all boring, and lack any characteristics that make them stand out (which, come on.. every great action movie has a great villain). I was hoping for more from Christian Slater, it was great seeing him in a major feature film role again (first since 2005's awful Alone in the Dark), he could have been the key to making a more entertaining baddy, but instead he's only in a few scenes. There' also a few plot twists at the end to shake things up a little, but by then it's too late.

Director Wayne Kramer (The Cooler, Running Scared) was the original director before being replaced when Stallone felt the film was going to be too dark. It makes me wonder what could have been. Instead we're left with a movie that, isn't bad, but isn't memorable either. It's an average movie, and doesn't strive to be anything more.

Rating: 5/10

Cast

Sylvester Stallone, Sung Kang, Sarah Shahi, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jason Momoa and Christian Slater 
Writer
Alessandro Camon
DirectorWalter Hill
Rated R

Crash Bandicoot (PSX)

The problem with playing a lot of games from the early Playstation days is that your expectations and memories are going to be completely different from what you're actually playing. Time hasn't been kind to a lot of these early games. Controls are less refined, graphics are less impressive, because of this, good games can look and feel incredibly dated. Luckily one game that manages to break that trend is Naughty Dog's: Crash Bandicoot!

The story of Crash Bandicoot is simple: Crash is a mutated bandicoot who's out to save his gal from the evil mad scientist, Doctor Neo Cortex, who apparently plans to take over the world by turning other animals into mutant assassins out to stop Crash at all costs. Apparently there is a lot more to the story, but I never witnessed any of this throughout the course of playing Crash. I just ran around jumping on and over things without a care in the world. In fact, had it not been for a Wikipedia article I read when researching the game, I'd never had known a plot existed. This can be forgiven though, this was an early title, and honestly isn't really expected to bring much in terms of a story anyway. Crash is hip and cool and he jumps on things, that's all that really matters. And he wears jorts, jorts were really cool in 1996.

There's not a lot to say about game play, it's a traditional platformer, you run around and jump on enemies and then jump over gaps. Rinse and repeat. But it's fun, the controls are responsive and there's some nice level design thrown in that still holds up.

So the big question is, after nearly 20 years of waiting, should you play Crash Bandicoot? YES! It's a fun plat-former that at times can be pretty challenging. It's full of animal hijinks and death traps and everyone loves animal hijinks.

As the years went on, Crash had over 15 different games, they even redesigned Crash into more of a punk rocker with spiky hair for the last game released in 2008. The most curious design choice was that they kept the much outdated jorts.

Rise Above Hate

Man Of Steel (2013)

Credit: Warner Bros.

I've wanted to like the character of Superman more than I do, yet it seems like he's too powerful. He has heat vision, cold breath, the ability to fly, he has X-Ray vision, super strength, he's also faster than a speeding bullet, and one time he even flew around the Earth to reverse time. Yet his only weakness is a glowing, green crystal? Well, this movie finally proved me wrong. This movie showed that Superman is a compelling character who's real weakness is his humanity. He's torn between his home on Earth and his birthplace of Krypton, which the villain of this movie exploits to the fullest. Man of Steel also made sense of the Krypyonite weakness as well. Its not that the actual green crystal is his weakness, its that the atmosphere of the Earth has made him powerful, yet on his home plant of Krypton he would become normal. The green crystal isn't a weakness as much as coming in contact with a relic of his home world will strip him of his abilities.

Man of Steel does something different with the origin of its superhero than most modern superhero films. It uses flashbacks to younger versions of Clark Kent who has to suppress his instincts to use his powers, while also showing present day Clark Kent being the powerful person that he is. Man of Steel also distances itself because it makes the point that Superman is actually not of this world, he's an alien, and I don't recall the other films boldly stating that fact. Being that Superman is not of this world, yet appears to be a man, I noticed a parallel between another figure of many stories; that would be Jesus Christ. Both have human parents but were not born of those parents, they were raised with humble beginnings, and while the people actually did turn their backs on Jesus, it was feared that they would do the same thing to Clark Kent if they knew his true nature.

The movie does many things right and most of those moments are it's personal moments between characters. It excels when it comes to the emotional side of the story, and even manages to momentarily make its villain a sympathetic character, which Michael Shannon does convincingly when his character of Zod tells Superman that he's doing what he was born to do. The rest of the cast is just as good in their roles, especially Henry Cavill as Superman/Clark Kent. The Lois and Clark of this movie felt a bit more real in their romance, which is more than I can say for Margot Kidder's version of Lois Lane.

As much as the dramatic side to the movie won me over, when it came to being an action blockbuster, it nearly crumbled. It pains me as a lover of action movies to say that this movie had too much action. It felt like it didn't know when to end, as there were battles after battles and I didn't even know if Metropolis had that many skyscrapers to smash. Despite that fact, Man of Steel may not be the best superhero movie but it is the best Superman movie.

Westworld (1973)

Credit: MGM

This movie seemed right up my alley as science fiction films have been a long-time interest while the Western genre has only recently been on my radar. There have been recent sci fi/Western hybrids, like Cowboys and Aliens and even the Firefly TV series from a decade ago, though their success has varied. Westworld seemed more intriguing to me because of it's placement in the "thriller" category when making a blind-buy at the electronics store. I thought for sure I'd find it in the Western section.

The movie features a small principle cast, with James Brolin ("John") and Richard Benjamin ("Peter") starring as buddies who venture to West World for a vacation. In order to picture West World, think of an adult version of Epcot Center at Disney World, where each "world" becomes its own amusement park. Not only is there West World, but also Medieval World and Roman World. For a thousand dollars a day, patrons can joust against a knight, draw pistols at dawn with a gunslinger, or even battle a gladiator in a coliseum. And you won't even hurt anyone because androids in each "world" are programmed to lose every battle. John and Peter end up confronting the gunslinger of West World, played by a veteran of Westerns, Yul Brynner, who's famous for the lead role in The Magnificent Seven. Yet for me, the highlight of the movie was a small role by Dick Van Patten and I believe he never has a single line! He popped in briefly as a patron of West World who gleefully practiced firing his pistol in the mirror, only for it to accidentally fire and shattered the glass. Fellow West World patron Peter Martin seemed extra wimpy, especially when ordering a martini at the saloon, so it was surprising how easy he handled his pistol. I recently learned how to handle a gun and I was apprehensive, so it took away a bit of believability from his character, although that's Hollywood for ya.

The most interesting part of Westworld was that it took me nearly 60 minutes of it's 88 minute running time to figure out this is a precursor to Jurassic Park! I knew it was written and directed by Michael Crichton, and that something went wacky at an amusement park, but I didn't connect the dots right away that it actually *is* Jurassic Park only with a "wild west" setting (...and obviously a lack of dinosaurs.) Perhaps Crichton had the grand idea for dinosaurs wrecking havoc when creating Westworld, only he kept this movie more intimate and on a smaller scale since technology wasn't advanced enough yet to make realistic dinosaurs to fulfill his vision. Not only is Westworld noteworthy for being a blueprint for Jurassic Park, I feel like the gunslinger could be a prototype for villains that appeared in movies throughout the 80's, specifically the original Terminator and Jason Vorhees characters which would silently stalk their victims. I like this approach that Crichton took to crafting an intense finale, while also successfully merging genres, and in the process laying the ground work for many "silent killer" characters to come.

The Gauntlet (1977)

Credit: Warner Bros.

This seems like a lesser known film amongst the resume of Clint Eastwood, though I can't see why with a movie poster like that. It's as if the posters for Star Wars and Escape From New York were merged into one bad ass masterpiece. Just one look at it will put hair on your chest! As a side note, if there's one thing that bugs me most about today's movies, its the severe lack of creativity when it comes to movie posters. I don't know if they would rather not spend the budget to commission artwork like this poster for The Gauntlet or Hollywood doesn't have faith in it's audience to tell who's the star of a movie if they don't slap their face onto a simple "photoshopped" poster.

As for The Gauntlet, it's poster does indeed sum up everything you'd want in an action movie, and Clint Eastwood delivers the goods. Not only does he star as Ben Shockley, he also steps behind the camera and into the director's chair. As Ben Shockley, he is given the task of transporting a witness for a trial from Las Vegas to Phoenix, which unfortunately for him it turns out to be a difficult assignment. Fortunately for us, the viewers, we're treated to several shoot-outs, an exploding car, high-speed chases, even a helicopter firing from above as Shockley rides a motorcyle. Clint's signature dry wit is present but he doesn't hog all the great lines for his character; his feisty female co-star gets some great lines, as well as a cop that Shockley holds at gun point to transport them to the airport. His female co-star is not just that, she was also Clint's love interest at the time, Sondra Locke. I have a feeling their chemistry in real life is much like in this film; if Clint overcooked her steak, she probably slapped him with it.

Do you know how action movies always feature a million bullets whizzing through the air yet none of them ever hit their target? I feel like this is the movie that started that trend, as the movie's climax features a bus that is turned to Swiss cheese; wait, scratch that. It's more than cheese as it literally becomes a giant-sized cheese grater after the bad guys are done with it. I'm surprised that this movie was sitting in the bargain bin and isn't mentioned in the same breath with Clint's classics movies like Gran Torino, Dirty Harry, and The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. We're doing this movie, and also Eastwood, a disservice by not including it with other classic action movies. I think I'm going to end this review now and start surfing the web for a replica of The Gauntlet's movie poster to proudly display on my wall.